Anger – What to Do with It

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In a recent post Ed and Deb Shaprio wrote – “Taking anger to bed is probably one of the most damaging things we can do to both our relationship and ourselves.” I agree.

The problem with anger is the problem with anger. Anger is much like sex. It is all around us, but we are in denial of how we are being affected by it. We hold on to it until a trigger causes us to go off. Rarely is it the trigger that is the real issue. It is the years of accumulated anger along with the  shame we build up about it.

We will write more about anger and how to have the energy work for you. For now, my suggestion is to feel it – as it builds. Notice the beginning of the frustration or annoyance. That little irritation which is not going away, notice it. With that awareness, ask that pre-anger what it needs. Often it will be to say no. So say no.

I know that in many situations you can’t say no. But what you can do is feel the tension in your body and with relaxed breathing release it. As much as letting go so you feel better in the moment, you are teaching yourself to be aware, to accept what is happening and learning not to always do the habitual thing. Try something different.  Experiment. This is how we break old habits that don’t serve us anymore.

We often express our anger to who we feel the safest with, our partner. Start building a habit for yourself and for your relationship of being aware and letting go. The shame and regret you feel when you get angry at your partner only adds to the tension, and consequently the anger. Start small. Feel it and release it. Communicate before it is a big thing.

What are your issues with anger we can discuss?

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Tagged as: Add new tag, Anger, Anger management, Energy