Jonathan Fields did an excellent post on recent research that showed watching porn made you smarter and watching people having a loving walk improves your creativity.

I can see it now – a new industry for increasing your intelligence… oh we already have that industry.

No related posts.

Image via Wikipedia

Now I got your attention I will tell you. It is your mind. Without your senses and your perception there would be no arousal. Wired Magazine did a brief piece on the new research about sex and the brain and its related chemicals.

Their article mentions nitric oxide being release which boosters blood flow to your sex organs. It doesn’t mention that nitric oxide was behind the development of Viagra. Louis Ignarro the author of NO More Heart Disease: How Nitric Oxide Can Prevent–Even Reverse–Heart Disease and Strokes received a Nobel Prize for his research on this subject. His book speaks about how to naturally cure heart disease and create the benefits of Viagra.

The key substance is the amino acid, L-Arginine. You can read more on the supporting supplements. Try it. Let us know how it works for your heart, brain and you sex.

No related posts.

You've come a long way, baby.

Click on photo to read what our mothers or our grand mothers learned about sex.

No related posts.

Mary Roach author of The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex speaks at the TED conference on orgasm. Learn about the “up suck theory” of pregnancy and orgasm.  Watch how to enhance a pig’s chances of pregnancy. These are just a few of the interesting facts you will learn from this video.

Related posts:

1. The Most Powerful Sex Organ

Image via Wikipedia

Ever let a puppy out of a pen? See him wiggle uncontrollably?

Ever watch kids leave the school building at the end of the day?

Ever see a racehorse trapped in the starting gate when the gun finally goes off?

Situations where we feel we do not have the freedom to fully express ourselves, our exuberance for life, are like prisons to us. Each and every one of us knows that feeling of liberation and joy when we are set free.

Love is like that puppy, those kids, and that racehorse. It wants out.  It wants to run!

Ever watch a five-year-old dance in and out of puddles after a rain?

Ever hear someone singing in the shower in his/her best virtuoso voice?

Ever do your own adaptation of a victory dance when you thought no one was watching, just because you accomplished something you really wanted to?

What we long for, what we crave, is to be able to fully express—-especially our love. We used to release it whenever we felt it.

Remember? Two year olds do it. They just come up to you and grab you around the knees and hold on while they say their version of “I love you.”

It’s available.

It is what everyone wants, but –

Is afraid to go for it

Doesn’t know how to go for it, and/or

Has no model of others demonstrating it.

The full potential of a relationship is realized when both partners feel completely free to express their love.  Withheld love is worse than no love at all. What if not releasing love is what warps and suppresses the life out of our unions?

Consider this: You offer out of love. Maybe a vacation together. Maybe a foot rub. Maybe sex. Maybe a suggestion of what to do about that cold they have. Maybe they don’t accept. Do you keep releasing or do you hold back a little? Decreasing releasing distorts our expression of love. It begins to be expressed as irritation, apathy, anger, power struggles, competition instead of collaboration, sadness, unhealthy bodies, and a host of other twists. It’s still all love being expressed—but it’s the race horse kicking and bucking behind the gate—our love is manifesting in ways that don’t take us where we want to be.

What if those emotions we have labeled as negative are just misrepresentations of the love we feel but have not released? What if we release our love just because we can? (Like when we were two.) What if we release our love without wondering how the other will respond? What if we release our love because it feeds us power and replenishes our body and soul whether they return it or not? (Do you think that racehorse really cares if he wins? Or, does he just want to run?) What if courageously releasing our love right when we feel it is, in fact, the only way to experience it?

Hmmmm….

Release: Let somebody or something go; make public; make something available; relief; free; announcement; discharge; liberate; let loose; leave go of; stop clutching something.

Antonym: hold

Releasing love – it’s why elderly people with pets live longer than the ones who don’t.

No related posts.

We all like sex. The media loves teasing us with it. Men fantasize about it. Women read about it.

How good is sex for you?

According to a short post in WebMD, sex is a panacea.

1. Sex Relieves Stress

2. Sex Boosts Immunity

3. Sex Burns Calories

4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health

5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem

6. Sex Improves Intimacy

7. Sex Reduces Pain

8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk

9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles

10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better

So, if you need to give your partner a list, here it is.

I once had a surgeon for a client who got a colleague to write a script for him to give to his wife for sex. He said it worked. May be your doc will write one for you. More sex will keep you healthy.

What health benefits have you found?

No related posts.

As Valentine Day approaches those who don’t have a partner may become more anxious to have one. As the recent New York Times article suggests, there is help out there. “Online dating is a $976 million annual industry in the United States.”

More than just offering members to post profiles, a growing number of sites offer testing to determine matches. One site, ScientificMatch.com for $1,995.95 will test your DNA to determine who your best match is.

As the Times article points out, the full range of dating sites provide what our communities use to provide – introductions and pre-selections. Again, the Internet is a virtual community.

My experience with using the Internet as my introduction was excellent. I did learn that many of my generations – the baby boomers are hesitant to admit to using one of these services. Our younger generation views it as natural as having a friend introduce them to a possible partner.

You will have to hurry if you want to find the one so you have a partner to bring to our One Night Stand seminar.

Related posts:

1. Deep Love

Image via Wikipedia

Do you have your own space? Is there a place and/or time for you to escape and renew?

For some it is their activities or traveling. For many it’s a space in their house to claim as their own. For relationships to succeed each person needs a place and time to renew in. For some their own space and time is critical to them showing up fully. This is true for me.

Sophie Keller wrote a blog post on Why Sleeping Separately Is Good For Some Relationships. As she points out, that concept is a push for many. Over the years, I know several couples who sheepishly admit to me that they sleep separately. At first, it might have been one of the practical reasons Sophie gives in her post. Over time, these couples realized there were other benefits.

I encourage everyone have a place and time to renew. If it is separate bedrooms, great – give yourself what you want. If you need reasons, read Sophie’s post.

Related posts:

1. Do You Sleep Alone?

Image via Wikipedia

In a recent post Ed and Deb Shaprio wrote – “Taking anger to bed is probably one of the most damaging things we can do to both our relationship and ourselves.” I agree.

The problem with anger is the problem with anger. Anger is much like sex. It is all around us, but we are in denial of how we are being affected by it. We hold on to it until a trigger causes us to go off. Rarely is it the trigger that is the real issue. It is the years of accumulated anger along with the  shame we build up about it.

We will write more about anger and how to have the energy work for you. For now, my suggestion is to feel it – as it builds. Notice the beginning of the frustration or annoyance. That little irritation which is not going away, notice it. With that awareness, ask that pre-anger what it needs. Often it will be to say no. So say no.

I know that in many situations you can’t say no. But what you can do is feel the tension in your body and with relaxed breathing release it. As much as letting go so you feel better in the moment, you are teaching yourself to be aware, to accept what is happening and learning not to always do the habitual thing. Try something different.  Experiment. This is how we break old habits that don’t serve us anymore.

We often express our anger to who we feel the safest with, our partner. Start building a habit for yourself and for your relationship of being aware and letting go. The shame and regret you feel when you get angry at your partner only adds to the tension, and consequently the anger. Start small. Feel it and release it. Communicate before it is a big thing.

What are your issues with anger we can discuss?

No related posts.